26.

Ice cream
drips on my brother's face
school bell tone drone, SFO
rumbling in the sky.

dad yells my name
inside, but I hide in the grains
of the sidewalk, lost in
wheels on freeway, Lucy
barking at the door.

my blanket knows burning hair
dog hair vapor of marijuana
tickling the air, I creep
downstairs, everyone sleep
stares at television,
I light the floor of the kitchen
to paint.

25.

the thing is, where do we go?
this urge to get up overwhelms me,
even as you push me headdown into sleep.
all I need is a notebook, don't gotta move,
my mind wanderings before my eyes
hands playing too,
I'm warm here.
The toilet so quiet in calling
yet steady rumbles,
the page turns me back to body--
bladder.

24.

lovely, we've moved upstream
the creek more snortles here, we
lower the roof, we
breathe dark deeply, could be
hibernation, ritual bring me
sustenance, let me taste you
in private.

23.

Sam sleeps next to me, on the couch
squishing his face with his hand,
his breaths, chalky puffs
the accordion of his belly slow

He surrenders to the skies,
on his back, palms facing up
hand to temple,
we must do this right.

A toe twitches to this encompassing
rhythm of purring fridges,
pencil yawns.

His hand falls! Caught on pajamas,
a peace sign forms.
two fingers, facing down.

22.

A rock squats heavy in the river
you can sit on the rock, in warmth, in wet
you can spend all of your time with the river
in the river, drinking it, riding it, eating
the fruits holding fast to rock fist,
babies of river in their bellies

21.

we fake
argue in
the heat
it sips
our smiles
grumpy
lumps.
we frump
toward ice
cream take
a walk
cold mouth.

20.

Toes in dusty dirt piles
Duct tape patch on concrete
column
Bird flap flap flap flap flap
Man through a parking lot, Bart
pulling me away
Trucks and trucks filled with
products
Rolling his shoulders to
relax
Purple sweater hides a girl
We're safe here

19.

come stand next to me aw I don't think we
can get it now I'm lagging like crazy get in
there my oh just got up raped -em all I just
used my did you see those two guys dropped
don't run don't run don't run let's get back be
careful doing that in there hunter wow he's gonna beat
him in that fight elborne where's the hell-born did
you see any creeps there careful, dude wow I was
looking at my items you guys get him orange oh sustain
him kay (explosions) woah I attack so fast I like it might
be able to refresher think I'm gonna go for sacrifice be
stronger I was not paying attention whoops alright I
guess why's he going aw man there they come are they
going for Congor they're checking it so squishy why
aren't we following them counter-gank come on so you guys
handle pudge I'll handle the rest of them he's trying we
can chase him he's over here got striders, though, now
what farm? push okay forgot these guys sixty seconds
alright get that eventually destroy the tower suck on
this dumbass cool I didn't really do much there.

18.

Well we woke up and said good morning to each other
as she stepped over my sleeping bag, I clung to her
leg, the table blocked her topside but I felt her
squeezing me back with her feet.
And Jack sits outside looking sleepy arms folded as
the laptop holds Swana right there. I think his eyes
stay closed as he picks his nose his tattoo clouds
keep on swirling.
While Woody lays down baby eyes peeking up an apple in
his right hand, take a bite. His bag washes around him,
a river with black banks take another bite, wipe mouth
on sleeve, feed Sarah, too.

17.

and it just makes me sleepy, accordion fade out, we're
on a xylophone now, he brings the thunder, click, click, I'm
typing, writing, flushing out the words as they occur it's a
slippery slide out (and in) as the wind instruments enter
click click. click. the notes rise and sink and double rise while
voices are outside and threads to the left center stage, very
middle of my book, look, six white stitches. A family. My
family, holding these pages together. Too tired to think the pencil
is just finding ways of falling, winding down as my lap is a
slant in this carpet chair, Woody's right in front of me serious click
click as we bathe in piano from Amelie. A cute word, this little bird,
so attractive, his laps and jaw and warmth. The accordion is back and
according to this page I hope it don't don't (don't) rain next
weekend, so we can bike ride to the beach. Sounds like an organ
now a pause between clickings. Reread. Tinkering. Fabric mouths
dark lilac on my thigh. Bike riding by.

16.

I've been a circular emotional machine,
my feet legs hovering out the window
flying ecstatic away to tree topped
cloud patches
a smile. perfection. bliss. explosion.
and then I'm shaking because I'm crying
because I'm fucking freaking out that
Woody doesn't say he loves me.
He holds me as I silent scream
until it passes.
I imagine the music in the branches, the
smoke dances around the car.
I see sharp things ready to pierce me
when I eyes close.
Dreams of tsunamis, rock matter, playing
soccer on swings.
I am. Many things.
Your consciousness is everything you are.

15.

I peered slowly closely
deep into his joy
which flashed dark upon
my thin, cream lotus.

And unexpected, the oil
drips satisfy my delicate
need for dirt, for hurt,
black comfort and balance.

So I cling to the tiger's
back, head pressed into
sunset fur. Carries me over
golden shit, towards
stormclouds, we pur.

14.

Well, my soul called again on Friday evening porch,
in brother form, as is so often, and proposed
a grounding, an opening, a releasing and a letting
in of light.
Nothing other than yes.

Swampy hurry blinded us towards (and forwards)
keep getting ready, we drove around in
circles til the clock agreed.
sleepy sweet sleepy sweet exhale, as millions
of trees were just waiting to greet you, good
morning, to sing to you, good afternoon, eat with you,
of the rain dew good night.

we tumble inwards, on around. these rocks,
carrying each other in the lightest moments as
we ascend the sky is calling hello.

still again ohgain your eyes are the balance
I fall into, no matter upwards where we are.

13.

hazy mazey daisy
sum
of the flowers
we picked last night

steady ink wash
erasing back smelly
lips
flowers
kiss
my nose
(as the crit goes along)
(would you mind taking yours down?)
aw yeah
veggie
eggie
rolls

12.

Here in my contours lays the guarantee on
all fours, struggling for breath, its chest
bleeding sweat, we didn't know.

Here in my violet, our tango lays quiet, sipping
stale water where the music disappeared,
quite queer, we've misplaced the volume.

Where in your silver, the impetus draws
nearer, sloshing through the bloodsweat quiet,
heading home.

11.

And it could be considered an unhealthy
game that I play with the sun on such
a gray day.

I won't come out until she does.

So time slides around the clock as I burrow
deep and the sun piles pillows of clouds.
I peek behind the curtain and how the
sun is still hiding, still waiting, pacing
round as I tuck my knees in and finger
the blanket's weave with my toes.

Hunger pushes, rain pours, noises pull.
A bowl of oatmeal, bring my blanket with
me, that's my compromise.

And the gray clouds turned a bit whiter.

10.

and the violet creeps toward me slipping
through small buildings as they blush fluorescent

still moisture blankets reach for the
mountains, but they don't care I
imagine them hearing that dog
barking with a laugh while rightward
black trees are disappearing

the sparks on my hill's sister flitted
lost, the cost of sparkling eyes and their
playground. (tree whispers take over, birdflapping
wings, hush dear,
what you see is yours.

9.

So if language were to be surreal
to feel, to chill, to lose the hill
takes grass made of book pages
familiar voices tumbling, causing that
rumbling inside flying shark tooth
razor blade roller shade, I'm
taking a break from rations.
Supposing it's fashion, kick boot
cups till naan crumbles into
ghost juice, loose, tomato,
tomato.

8. (playing with translations)

Small Flag of Ellie

In chute strict taste and star light kitchen,
why don' Had the first personnels to say
by everybody in t who' S has not been
girl I and so on. About from feeling your
key 3 years do not examine the sunlight
the creation. Continual rui completely [barahu

Small Indicator of Ellie

Accurate taste of the increase, spangled inside
the kitchen, because don't has all the first
person with all, of that it admits when who
it will be; that the girl was not me etc. three
years of the seen one of stews to a
manufacture of the sun, no trend. Talent, of
that they make the intelligent number of all
the plant of the ice of the mosquitoes
pulling, of what alternating blows of the
unit of processing, increase of Frida Kahlo in
our hall, its impression.

Recognizing Ellie

The exact taste of
shoot, in the starry kitchen, why don't
have a
very first person to
no one says
who's that girl
I was not
etc.

The years from focus
look at a making
in sunshine, no
mood.

Talent knocking all the ice plant
wise series of gnats, ghost
Frida Kahlo
climb to our living room,
make your impression.

7.

Well, for the most part it's half-truths,
quarter-truths, failing proofs you know
won't make it through two rounds of
testing.
The less of it looks surface-like:
stillness ripples rip still.
It's where my father smiles at me
not so true as real.

They're trying to let me get away
with whatever I want and slip-poof!
a degree on my knee nobody
will look at.
I'll get lots of practice, suppose,
in still ripples still ripping.

Thousands of layers of thought,
he said. So I saw birds raw
lungs and sand and a girl sewing
closed my vagina.
stop that.
drowning.
rippling still.
still.

6.

And I am so glad we brought our friends
to the spot where rippling glass sounds like
laughs as it slides over a rock shaped
like shoulder blades.

And I am so sad that all of the Time
you are feeling something that's brother
is drowning, whose mother is screaming,
whose father is rage.

And I am so unsure of what will come in
all of the tomorrows I will tie to you.
Perhaps we'll come back to the sneezing creek
stealing our insight.

Or perhaps we'll leave on a haze of
imagination and planes and turn scary days
into adventure games where we'll let
uncertainty fill our sails.

5.

And for the rest of the day, they couldn't

speak to each other. A fat mound of hurt

and fear wriggled between them, a dying

demon.

Let the winds blow it away, let time

take it from us. It is unnatural here. This

land of love.

He still made her a sandwich. Knock twice

on the bedroom door.

She still put water for two in the kettle. The

soft whistle pulls him near.

And yet they both turned their heads

upwards when rain started licking the roof.

Cleanse us.

So when lightning struck, she went to the couch

and climbed on top of him.

The hurt was all alone, in the corner.

4.

and nevermind whale chatter, love splatter on
jeans. and nevermind forest green signs erupting
like bamboo from the grey.
but keep in mind ticket times, now we
can't be late, or you'll be sorry.
and put it in at 4 o'clock and let it steep
till someone sounds the bell--ding! till someone
knocks the door--drop!
so i'll get you a pet pidgeon for Christmas. and
i'll kiss the squish of your nose. and i'll
rise with you and close my eyes for
you and do my hair how you like it.
i'm trying to tell you i'll take it.
it being whatever it is that you can give me.
and so just keep in mind i'm always clutching
the touchings, the clippings of your dark. they're
in my breast pocket, and nevermind, but its
keeping me warm.

Vitamin C Salad

Dice up red pepper, tomato, orange, avocado. Add flax meal and flax oil and stir it up. It tastes like a rainbow of not getting sick when your housemates are sick.

delicious pasta shells

totally satisfires the vegan craving for macaroni and cheese.

pasta shells

+flax oil

+tahini

+nutritional yeast

+salt

+soy milk
+soy sauce

(avocado or lentils would be delicious...)

oh yes.

3.

the faucet sneezes spit
city lights echo the stars, but we overdid
it
trees float since gravity turned
sideways
pillows hum with complacency
leaves sing loud with decency
secrecy
all of the above
got swallowed up
by a dove,
a particularly feisty one, I'll tell
you that.

2.

There was a tragedy in the family
that winter, and I swear, the
clouds were mourning with us.

Good morning was a true thing
that was too hard to say.

So often I kept my mouth shut
that winter, so as not to ripple
when stillness is due.
Reflection became inflection, a tone of
voice, not audible, inside, like a prayer.
For although I kept my mouth shut
there was too much to say and my
head was a loud, congested place to
be.

So when you said good morning,
oh yes, I heard you, and it set
off all the voices asking, telling,
is it really a good morning?
To which one has to conclude its
decidedly not. And by the time
this decision was made, you had
walked on. Walked by. Walked
through me. And inside my head,
I was crying.

1.

Oh, but don't get me wrong, the words aren't always
there. They get lost and forget themselves and trade
places.
And the birds, they sing in the mountaintops, its
worth everything, they call.
And for everyone sleeping on couches the
mountaintops call out to fresh oceanwind to
deep desert hymns to
innertube Jim
to local gyms to
out there words are lost and forgetting
themselves and trading places.
And in here we do the same thing in
closed spaces.
Good night

Cinnamon Apple Ginger Snaps

Because this might have been the name of the cookie in Fantastic Mr. Fox:

Preheat over to 350.

Stick about 3/4 cup of coconut oil in a bowl and put it in the microwave for like, 47 seconds.

Add to this about 1 cup of sugar, 2 tbsp. molasses, a dash of vanilla, 1/3 cup vegetable oil, and a half cup of water. Stir it all up

In a mixing bowl, have your dry stuff: two cups of flour, a tablespoon of baking powder, a couple pinches of salt, and some herbs. We used nutmeg, ginger, cinnamon, and cloves. I have a hunch some garlic powder would do these good.

Pour all the stuff from the little oil bowl into your dry stuff mixing bowl and mix it all together. Yum, right? It should look super doughy. And taste delicious.
Roll them into little pancakes and put them on a cookie sheet.

FINAL STEP! Cut up some delicious fruit and put it on top. We did apple slices and pear slices. They were completely perfect and different experiences.

Bake them for like, 13 minutes. Let them cool for four minutes. Enjoy with the best beverage you can think of.